Friday, January 30, 2015

A Spiritual Break through (recipe included!)

So I'm about to get all GO ME again... BUT HOLY COW.. I did it. I actually finished My book I was reading LIKE I SAID I WOULD. Restless: You were made for more. Bare with me though.....

This book.... was not only incredible, it was HEART CHANGING.... For the last year I've been feeling like who is God and why would he let US go through so much pain and suffering...its because he wants us to lean on him, rely on him to bring us where we need to be to share HIM.  Then I went through the phase where I was like okay seriously... there is soooo much more to this life i'm living then being a mom and wife. NOT that its not amazing because it totally is, I love it and wouldn't ever change that, but my heart felt the need to grow, and do/be more. As I wrapped up the book It hit me like a TON OF BRICKS. I'm exactly where God wants me to be in this very moment. And I know feel like I can hear him speaking to me what he wants from me. He NEEDS me to use MY story to show you his love, his promises, his forgiveness, and faithfulness.

I've known for a really long time... well since I had Madison, that I was destined to be apart of something HUGE. Well that HUGE is my family. I have THE LARGEST connection i've ever seen in the Down syndrome community! It blows my MIND how much support i've seen been given, the love thats shared and the joys and pain we experience. We are blessed beyond our knowledge to have these children that come into our lives and teach us more about life and love then anyone else could imagine. But to add to my family... I've been blessed with the amazing support of wounded warrior caregivers like myself who share the same heart ache as I do.  The struggles we live with daily caring for our husbands who came home with deep war wounds that changed everything about them, and us having to find our new normals constantly.

I've been given a gift of being vulnerable. I'm an open book you could ask me anything and I'd be beyond happy to share with you my life, even the most painful things to share. I've also been given a gift of being support, and encourager with the most positive outlooks on the situation. I've been given the gift of being a strong woman, who can tolerate a hefty amount of pain, stress, and chaos. I've been given the gift to be knowledgeable. I have EVERYONES medical history memorized. I've even been laughed at by medical professionals who THINK I'M THE NURSE/ and one time a DOCTOR.  And maybe someday I'll be a nurse like I've dreamed... but for now I'm filled with these gifts for a reason, and thats to be there for those who are feeling weak.. empty... needing help...people who seem to have lost themselves in life. which I have to , thats how I got here! And I want them to know there is more, and everything will be okay. It may not be what we want.. but it will be what he wants and what he wants YOU to do with it.

I somewhat recently went to a concert with my sister, and I broke down into tears later that night just begging and pleading with God to change me, or "fix" my husband and his pain, or take away the struggles of having a child with special needs. Things were so hard and so stressful I felt as though I needed to RUN, and just leave and get out of the mess of it all temporarily. It wouldn't have done any good I'd still be in pain if I let my thoughts become my reality. I cried THIS ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS HARD. And it wasn't until I finished this book that I realized, Yes it is supposed to be this hard. Because Jesus was drawing me nearer to him, calling my name to come back and have the faith I did after seeing the good he did with the other trials I've faced.. we've faced.  I'm supposed to hurt so I can hurt with others. I'm supposed to heal so I can teach others to heal too! I'm supposed to hold my FAMILIES HAND and walk with them, and show them that GOD can do anything!  And to be real... Since that night I begged and cried for things to not be so hard... I came home refreshed, and things have been a lot easier a lot less painful, and a lot more growth has been done.

I'd like to say I'm a bible reading girl who knows what she's talking about. I absolutely do not. And I'm sure some church going friends might read this and think.. what is she talking about. BUT All I know is theres a path in front of me, thats opened wide up with the possibilities of support systems, and finding more to this life with jesus as my guide, that i'm just going with it, walk that way, and learn as I go. Jesus calling is what i'll use to guide myself through learning his word, and i'm open to suggestions, because I'm not sure your "supposed" to read it from pg.1- the end.  My heart if overflowing with excitement. To be more, do more, get more involved, and open up more without the fear of judgment.  So Honestly I don't even know if this makes sense... but I'm wanting it out here to show everyone, to tell everyone, and I want everyone to seriously read this book!!!!!!! I will be re-reading it FOR SURE.

Don't worry I wont leave you hanging... here's the recipe for the week!!!!!

3 chicken breast (browned)
1 cup balsami
garlic cloves
3 bell peppers
2 medium sweet potatoes

Chunk the veggies and chicken (I browned mine before i tossed them in though!) all and let them marinate in the balsamic for a few hours. Slice and dice your sweet potatoes into long strips like fries, spray with Extra virgin olive oil, and toss them in the  oven at 450* for 45mins.   Once your veggies and chicken are on the kabobs then toss those in when there is about 15-20 mins left on the taters! Make sure they finish, enjoy with JUST MAYO chipotle Mayo.

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